Chasing Her Heart
by jesslovescastle
Summary: In a journey across state lines, will Kate find everything that she has been longing for?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: To anyone reading this that was previously reading "I Want To Be Your Hero," I really want you to know that I really wanted to be your hero and finish that story. However, I was having a tough time finding inspiration to finish that one. As for this one, I was playing a computer game yesterday and it's basically a tycoon restaurant game, but it has a neat love/romance storyline. So, it really inspired me to write something similar. And, I bring you this Ryan and Beckett fanfic. I can't promise that I will be able to update often. I'm busy in real life and sometimes, my inspiration and motivation really dies out. I hope that you do enjoy this though! Please note that this takes place after the events of season 3 and includes some season 4 material as well. Also, for the sake of the story, Ryan is not with Jenny. With all of that being said, here is chapter one!**

She hadn't realized what she wanted, until it was far too late. The clock read three forty-five A.M., and she hadn't slept at all. Instead, she tossed and turned, and fought her tears, determined not to cry over her own stupidity. He was gone and there was nothing she could do about it now. She had her chance before, but didn't act on it. Instead, she let him go, with no idea of where he was going. And now, she would pay the price for it. She already was, as she lay in the dark, battling her emotions, and sinking into a lonely, dark pit.

Ever since the first moment their lives crossed paths, she always knew that there was something there; a connection, an emotional bond. Being the person that she had always been, she had kept her heart guarded. She didn't want the one person she felt so much for to crush her heart, especially when she had been through so much in her life. But he was always there for her, and he always understood. And that, to her, felt like she had been leading him on. That was why she had decided to let him go. As much as she loved him, it was something that she felt she had to do.

As she peeled back the covers and climbed out of her bed, she thought of where he might be. His plane had probably landed at his destination already and he had probably checked into a hotel for the night. She knew that his mother was away on a retreat and that his daughter had recently gone off to college. It had just been him, which was why he decided that he was leaving in the first place. There was nothing left here in the city for him. She knew that she could have been that one thing left for him here. But too stubborn to act on her feelings, she let him leave her behind.

She crept across the hard, wooden floors, until she reached the bathroom. Reaching into the shower, she turned on the water, as hot as she could stand it. She then removed her t-shirt, sweats, and undergarments, before climbing into the hot shower. She hissed at the burning sting she received from the streaming water. Still, she didn't turn the knob. She just let it burn her skin, wanting to feel something, anything at all, in that moment.

Once the water started to turn cold, she washed up. She thought about the day ahead of her and knew that she didn't want to go to the precinct. His chair would be empty. The laughter from jokes would be missing. There would be no cup of coffee to greet her, upon his arrival. Her heart would ache. She had time to prepare herself for those things, but it wouldn't change them.

She sat down on the edge of her bed, with wet hair, in her towel, just staring out into her empty apartment. It had been a rough year. There had been quite a few twists and turns surrounding her mother's murder. She had taken a bullet to the heart and lost her captain. All of it had really taken an emotional toll on her, but through it all, she always had him to rely on. He had even declared his own feelings, on what could have been her death bed. Still, she couldn't bring herself to tell him the truth. And for that, she really resented herself.

Removing her towel, she started to dress herself. All of the pieces of the puzzle were beginning to come together now and she knew what she had to do. She grabbed a bag and began throwing her necessities and a few articles of clothing inside of it. She'd go to him. She'd bear her heart to him and she would make this right. She couldn't face the idea of living everyday without him from here on out. She didn't want the lonely nights like the one she had just been through and she surely didn't want the long, drawn-out days at the twelfth either. She had to do this, but she couldn't do it alone. She put on her shoes, grabbed her things, and headed out of her dark, lonely apartment.

She hadn't known where she was going to end up, until she had parked her car on the side of the road and headed inside the building. Her partners had always been loyal to her, so she knew that she would be able to have help now. She climbed the stairs, until she finally came to his unit. She knew it was still early. The sun had not even begun to rise. Still, in her time of need, she knew that her partner would understand. She made a fist and knocked on the door, firmly, for a few moments. Then, she waited. When the door came open, she could already see that she had woken him, as he rubbed his tired, blue eyes.

"Beckett?"

Ryan questioned her, almost wondering if he was dreaming at that moment. She had chosen him over Esposito, for the fact that her best friend, Lanie, would have never forgiven her for taking away her man in the wee hours of the morning, with an unexpected return time.

"I know that it's early, but I really need your help,"

She explained to him quietly, not wanting to wake his neighbors. He invited her inside his dimly lit apartment. She took a moment to glance around. She had never seen his place before, but she found it very fitting of him.

Figuring that it would be best if he had some caffeine in his system before discussing the matter of her early, unexpected arrival, she suggested that he shower, while she made coffee and breakfast. Ryan never quite pictured her very domesticated, but enjoyed the idea of someone actually treating him to breakfast. So, he agreed, and allowed her kind gesture, even though she was a guest in his home. As he made his return, the sun was finally rising outside the window over his kitchen sink. He admired the eggs, bacon, and toast on his plate on the table, before giving his partner a smile.

"You sure are buttering me up,"

He joked, before letting out a dorky laugh, and taking a drink from his coffee cup. Somehow, she knew how to perfect the absolute way he liked it. Kate smiled, as she watched him dig into his breakfast, before taking a sip of her own coffee.

"Well, if you go with me, then you'll deserve more than just coffee and eggs,"

She replied, as she lowered her coffee cup back down to the surface of the table. Kevin's eyebrow raised in curiosity, as he looked towards his female partner.

"Go with you?"

He questioned, wondering what she meant. He took a moment to nibble on some bacon, as he awaited her response. She took a deep breath, preparing herself for an explanation and for a possible rejection. Whether or not they were partners or friends, he still reserved the right to say no.

"I have to find _him_, Ryan..."

As the answer left her mouth, she glanced down in shame. If anyone knew how she felt about Rick Castle, it was her partners. They had watched them day in and day out. They knew what kind of relationship they had and watched the sparks fly between them. Ryan bit down on his bottom lip, as he contemplated the decision he needed to make. He knew that nobody really knew where Castle was headed, so they didn't know where to begin to look. At the same time, they had the resources at the precinct to narrow down his location, through his credit card transactions.

He looked over his partner and knew that she was completely serious about this. Ever since the moment that the writer had gone off without her, he knew she was beating herself up. He knew it was hard for her and he couldn't bring himself to say no, even if they would have to get Esposito to cover for them, while they slipped away, and misuse resources at the precinct. Still, he wasn't going to let Beckett go after him alone. He let out a slow breath, as he watched her look back up at him, her eyes searching his for his answer. Finally, he spoke.

"I'll do it..."


	2. Chapter 2

They were on the highway, headed for Florida by nine-thirty. With the help of Esposito, who agreed to cover for them, even though he didn't think Castle deserved this, they were able to confirm that the writer had purchased a plane ticket for Miami and that he checked into a local hotel, too. No further credit card purchases had been made since then. Beckett and Ryan both decided that it would be best if they drove down, instead of take a flight. Reason one being that neither of them really could afford a spontaneous flight to Florida anyway. Reason two, it would be harder for Gates to track them down, and blow their cover. So, they agreed to take turns driving, and stop at nightfall, to get some sleep.

Ryan looked over at his partner, as he drove along the highway. He could tell that she was emotionally preparing herself for the outcome of their trip. He knew it could take her the entire drive, plus the additional time it took to track down Castle, to be ready for this. He knew her heart was on the line here and that there was a chance that Rick might reject her. Kevin on the other hand, admired Kate's determination, and found the whole situation kind of romantic. He knew admitting that might make him sound like a complete cheese and nerd. Instead, he decided he would try to distract her from her distraught.

"You like music?"

He asked, feeling incredibly stupid after it slipped out. Who didn't like music? Kate turned her head, glancing over at him, half smiling, and half a laugh.

"Doesn't everyone?"

He chuckled awkwardly, giving her half a smile in return, and a shrug of his shoulders. Reaching over, he turned the radio on. Classical music poured gently out of the speakers.

"Feel free to change the station, if you'd like,"

He told his partner, before turning his attention back to the road. Much to his surprise, Beckett didn't change the station. Instead, she relaxed against her seat, glancing out the window beside her, taking in the gentle tones of the piano playing in the background. Ryan smiled a bit to himself. Whenever Esposito rode beside him, he was forced into rap or r&b, which weren't his preferences at all. He started to wonder about his female partner beside him. What type of music did she like? What else did she like? He found that he really didn't know much about her at all, outside of her work as a detective, and her tragic past that led her here. And that feeling made him feel a bit remorseful.

"You know, this is kind of... odd, in a sense,"

He mentioned awkwardly, as he glanced to the side at her again. She turned to meet his eyes for a moment, her's raised in curiosity.

"Odd?"

She questioned, just before he glanced back at the road before him. He shrugged his shoulders, just as awkwardly as he made the prior statement.

"We've just never done anything, outside of work before. And we don't even work together, alone, very much..."

He tried to explain, but he realized quickly that it only seemed and felt more awkward than before, now that he had elaborated.

"Just never mind me,"

He added, with an awkward chuckle, as he kept his attention on the road. Still, as she said there beside him, she pondered everything that he said. And he had a valid point. She reached over, turning the radio off, before positioning herself inward, and glancing towards him.

"You're right."

When she said that, he turned to look at her, this time his eyes raised in curiosity. She almost had to laugh at his deer-in-the-headlights look on his face. Instead, she just smiled.

"You're absolutely right. You and I, we haven't been known to congregate together very often. You and Esposito are mostly glued at the hip, around the twelfth. And as for me, well, for the past few years, I've had Castle."

She glanced down, briefly, as if to honor her aching heart with a moment of silence. When she lifted her eyes, she met her partner's once more.

"To be completely honest, I'm really surprised you agreed to this, Ryan."

It was true. Even Detective Ryan, himself, had been thinking the same thing. He wondered if her first choice would have been Esposito, since they had always been a bit closer. He had even helped her through her post-traumatic stress disorder. Kevin had always felt like the third wheel. And, when Castle joined their group, the fourth wheel. Never did he expect to be in the passenger seat, along for the ride with Beckett, to wherever they went.

"You're my partner,"

He responded, deciding not to upset the moment, by declaring that he didn't know why he agreed to come along with her. He turned, smiling at her, which soothed her worries that he might have regrets.

"And, if this is how I have to get to know the woman who sits a few feet across from me everyday, then bring on the road trips."

She smiled, as they both shared a laugh. There was a feeling of content in the car, as they crossed the New York state line, heading South of them. Kate reached over, turning the radio back on, having a feeling that her partner really enjoyed it. Plus, it also helped to ease her mind, and worries of what was to happen, when she reached Florida and found Castle.

"So, you like classical music, huh?"

She asked, although she felt like Captain Obvious for it. Still, he wanted to get to know her, and she really wanted to get to know him better too. He nodded his head once, before taking his eyes off of the road, momentarily, to look at her with a smile.

"I was brought up on the stuff. I even played the piano, growing up."

Beckett smiled in return at him, before watching him look back to the road. There was something she had never known about him. It kind of stung her heart, knowing there was so much of a mystery sitting beside her. But at the same time, she knew that she'd have plenty of time to learn more about him, over the next few days. And then, when they returned to New York City, they'd see each other in a different light, a better light.

"Do you still play?"

She questioned, curiously. He nodded his head, both of them smiling to themselves.

"I'd love to watch you play sometime."

Kevin turned his attention from the road, to look at her again. He hadn't played for anyone in a very long time, not since his days of recitals and family parties, where his relatives always encouraged him to play a number for them.

"Really?"

He found himself asking for reassurance. For some reason, her wanting to observe him in a passion he had long-ago, that hadn't yet died in his heart, meant a lot to him. She nodded her head once, giving him a sincere smile.

"You aren't the only one who likes classical music, Detective Ryan."

He felt like a dork, the way he grinned, but he couldn't help it. Between sharing his secret passion and hidden talent with her and the feeling of her wanting to witness it just made him feel so great. Turning his attention back to the road, he felt this flutter in his chest, something that he couldn't explain. But, being with Beckett, on the road in a personal manner, and not for work, just felt so right to him. He had a feeling, that by time it was all over, he wasn't going to ever forget.


End file.
